Manchester by the Sea, MA
Less than 24 hours until my departure and amidst the preparing, packing and goodbyes it seems like a good time to pause and take stock. I’m in Boston for a final farewell with friends and family, to put the finishing touches on my preparations, and to hopefully catch my breath (and catch up on sleep) before I step on the plane. The pace is a little slower for me out here, and it allows for some space to reflect on the journey so far.
After a year of methodically severing all ties to Colorado, the place I’ve called home for 24 years, I step forward happily into the unknown. The culmination of this process came last week when I closed on the sale of my house and subsequently submitted my change of address to the USPS. Sadly, they don’t offer an “unsubscribe” option. I was both concerned and amused when less than 12 hours later, Google Maps chirped on my phone, asking if my home address was still current. You’re watching my every step, Google, so I’ll let you decide.
Aww, google, you’re so thoughtful. I didn’t know you cared.
– me
My Big Brother encounter sparked a moment of reflection – for more than a year now, home has been a very fluid concept for me. I’ve crashed with friends, with family, lived out of hotels and tents, slept in my car and on a few occasions, curled up on a thinly-carpeted floor. But over the course of 20 or so signatures, it became official; I have no home. And it is the most free I’ve felt in a long time.
It has been just over a week since I raised a farewell toast with friends in Boulder, and 24 hours since doing the same here in Boston. The year leading up to these celebrations has been one of chest-pumping highs and gut-wrenching lows. But when I look at life in this moment, I am grateful beyond words for where I stand. Not because of what lies ahead, but for where I am today. After a painful ending and a long transition, I have rebuilt my life into something that brings me great joy. Something that I have long sought. I have connected with family and friends on a much broader and deeper level than ever before and begun to build a community around me that is supportive, fun and encouraging.
So, as any self-respecting over-thinker would, I started questioning… why? Why, when I see the seeds of my labor really start to blossom, would I choose to leave?
The question is rhetorical, the decision has been made, but it doesn’t stop my brain from spinning. Perhaps it’s academic, and honestly, it’s safe territory because I know adventure, fun and new friends lay ahead. But I also know that my community will never be the same – one of the risks of connecting with travelers is that they tend to move around.
One of the benefits of connecting with travelers is that they move around, providing opportunities to visit and discover new places.
– Mr Optimisim
In a final (for now) visit with my therapist, I raised this question, and she helped me discover an answer. While I may be leaving, it is on the upswing – things are improving, I am growing and rebuilding and my life is building positive momentum. The momentum is sure to carry forward as I move on, joining me overseas and providing me with the opportunity to build community in my life on Remote Year.
After sitting with this answer for a couple days, another conversation sparked a second, stronger realization. My community is split between Boulder and Boston right now, but in truth, that is pure coincidence. Place is not a defining characteristic of community. By stepping away I am not leaving my community – I’m venturing forth to expanding it globally. And with that, I can clearly see a day when my community spans oceans and continents, when country codes are a daily consideration, and when Viber and WhatsApp are necessities. A time when “where are you now” starts many conversations and when visiting friends yields more stamps in my passport and more pins on my map.
Yes. That is why I’m stepping away now.
I’ve found that traveling leads to an open mind and a sense of wonder. It is a catalyst for instant connection with strangers and treasured memories with friends. I’ll be surrounded by travelers for the next year, sharing adventures I dare not try to imagine. Adjusting to life on the road, in new, foreign places. I’ll be thrown into the unfamiliar and unknown, disoriented and confused and will stumble my way through. I’ll experience the ups and downs of Remote Year, make new discoveries, suffer losses and celebrate victories. But I won’t go through this alone. I’ll experience all of it with my Remote Year Mångata friends, whom I’ll meet in a few short days. And when I step off that plane, my community will grow by 48.
Would you like an adventure now, or shall we have our tea first?
– Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye America. Hello, world.
That was terrific, Brian. I like the natural storytelling in your writing, the way your sentences unfold, and the humanity contained within. I look forward to reading your experiences of our Mangatan journey.